Single Women's Survival Kit

It seems like survival guides and kits are popping up all over the place for single women. Whether it is equipping women with knowledge on how to dress on a date, what to say on a date, when to give up the cookies, blah, blah, blah. It's ok to be single. There is nothing wrong with it at all. So, I am going to throw my name in the mix and hit you ladies to a REAL single women's survival kit. Something that will benefit you for the new year and years to come.

The New Year Single Women's Survival Kit:

1. Tickle Your Fancy—A Woman's Guide To Sexual Self-Pleasure by Dr. Sadie Allison-Hey, you are single so you need to practice pleasing yourself. If you don't know how to please yourself then how in the hell do you expect a man to be able to? Nothing is wrong with masturbating. If some of you would masturbate more often, you wouldn't be in the positions you are in.

2. Pipedream's Le Reve Massager-This pocket size cutie packs a serious punch and if you are an On The Go type chica, you can carry it in your purse. To order www.sinsationaltreats.com

3. Friends- Every single woman needs a great group of friends. Friends that will uplift them, encourage them, and to tell them the truth even when you don't want to hear it. This group should include men and at least one of them should be gay. Gay men are a single and attached woman's MUST HAVE. These diamonds in the rough will hold you down and tell you when you look a hot mess....

4. Sex and the City and Girlfriends DVD Collections-Every woman needs these collection in their homes. The fashion, the drama, the sisterhood, the humor and the sex all wrapped up in a well written shows. When you are chilling in the house, invite a few friends over, pop a bottle or two and get your laugh on with these fab chicas...

5. Freak Em Dress and F*ck Me Pumps-Every single lady needs these two items. Freak Em Dress doesn't have to show off your ovaries or your nipples. Something classy yet sexy. Your shoe game has to be on point. Start off with a small heel if you are not comfortable wearing heels. Also, practice walking around in your home in them. This will help you get use to walking in heels. You are a sexy woman, so embrace it!

6. Domestic Diva Earrings-Shameless plug for my good friend's business. You already know that you have to stay fly. So, why not cop you a hot pair of earrings?! *SHRUG* go to www.domesticdivas2010.com

7. Self Help Books-Reading is Fundamental not For Da Mental. Invest in some good self help books. Books such as Connect and Grow Rich by Rob Coats, Stilettos in the Kitchen (The Modern Girl's Guide to Being Domestic Goddess) by Shanel Cooper-Sykes, A Guide to an Amazing New You by Ms. Antoinette Dyamond Moore, etc. There are tons of books on the market. Find one that suits your personal needs.

8. Good Personal Hygiene- This should be automated but some of you ladies don't wash your ass or groom yourselves. Take a weed whacker to your bush and under your arms. There are too many trimmers, clippers, razors and hair removals on the market for you to be walking around with Buckwheat between your legs. Invest in a gym membership. It will help you to release some of those pounds which will help build your confidence. Also, invest in a nice lip gloss and bronzer to enhance your beauty. My girl Ronne of Amor Mona has a FAB bronzer, visit her site at http://www.amormonaonline.com and while you are there check out the other goodies as well. Manicures and pedicures are a must. Even in the winter. The reason why you have to buy new sheets all the time is because your damn feet keep slicing them up. So take care of them.

9. Condoms, Condoms, Condoms-STDs are real out here ladies. So, stop depending on men to have condoms all the time. Keep your own and if he gives you sh*t about carrying condoms then dismiss his ass ASAP.

10. A Penis in a Glass Jar- A friend with benefits or a f*ck buddy. That guy who can polish you off without any emotional attachment. Now look, I promote masturbation like a party promoter promotes parties in my inbox on facebook but ever now and then you need the real thing. So, get you a "fun" buddy. If you are one of those chicks that get starry eyed or has cotton candy flowing thru their veins. Do Not Try This! You will only hurt yourself. This is for true to the game women, who just want a smash and dash while they handle their business. If you can't find a real, flesh and blood one then go back to #1 and #2 of this list.


I can go on and on about certain items every woman needs but it all starts with YOU! You know what you need and want out of your life. Take the time to evaulate what you want to change and go from there. Enjoy your own company and enjoy your life before that special someone comes along...It's a New Year. So make it a good one...

Sinsational Spotlight: Alisha Pean

I always try to support business owners especially my sisters. It is hard out here in this world trying to start, promote and establish a business while raising kids, studying for exams and dealing with everyday struggles but this young lady seems to do it with ease. Her name is Alisha Pean owner and operator of Domestic Diva Designs. I met Alisha the Diva thru a self help class called GYIT (Get Your Ish Together) and we became fast friends. Her designs are cute and original. I admire her strength and business savvy. So, I am going to let Alisha take it from.....



Age: 25 years old
Hometown: Newark, NJ
Profession: Owner, designer, buyer for Domestic Diva Designs
Services: Handmade fashion jewelry, custom designs, wholesale services, jewelry parties, jewelry repair, bridal jewelry

I started Domestic Diva Designs for working class women who have several roles but always make sure they look fab. I am a 25 yr old single mother of three, a student, business owner, obesity awareness activist and a slew of other things! While juggling so many hats, I am sure that no matter what I am doing I am presenting myself to the world in a manner that reflects my dominant role as a DIVA. Domestic Diva Designs has a variety of styles to meet all your needs whether it be fun, flirty, casual, evening, daring or sophisticated. I offer custom made pieces designed for Divas just like you. It is my job to keep other women like me looking fabulous....One less thing you have to worry about!



I couldn't agree with her more. Please visit Ms Alisha at http://www.domesticdivas2010.com.

Why Did I Get Married?

I know it's been a minute since I wrote a piece but a sister has been straight GRINDING!!!!! While on a rare break, I came across an interesting article in regards to what makes mistresses so successful. After reading the title "Successful Mistresses Do What Wives Won't", I automatically clicked on the link. While reading the article, a sudden anger flashed over me. I wasn't mad at the mistresses nor was I mad at the husbands. I was mad at the wives. This article outlined the reasons why the mistress was successful. Things such as cooking, wearing nice panties, giving oral sex, buying your man a gift, giving up the cheeks, investing in their appearance, etc. WTH!?! Really wives? Your man is getting validation from another bitch!? Say it ain't so.

Now, I know some men cheat for the sake of cheating but if your man is cheating because you are intentionally pushing him out of the house then you have no reason to be mad. Yeah you took vows to honor, respect, and obey but there are other things that go into a marriage other than wearing your man's last name. The same sh*t you did to get him then you need to work 20 times harder to keep him. The predators are always out especially when you have a good man at home. Hit the gym, invest in some cute panties, give up the goods more, cook a meal or at least try to cook, and most important learn when to SHUT THE F*CK UP!!!! You know the same feeling you get when you hear the office bitch talk, multiply that feeling by 10000. That is how your man feel when you start nagging and whining. No, I have never been married but it's a damn shame when folks who are married inspired articles like the one I just read.

Let me hip you to what's really good. There are some females out here who don't give a damn about you or your vows. If they sense any crack in your foundation, they will go in for the kill. They are cunning, manipulative, immoral and just don't give a f*ck. Then there are the ones that are cool with having a part time lover. To them, having the man without having the commitment is a piece of cake. They will give your man the three P's: Pussy, Pleasure and Peace without blinking.

I encourage you ladies to be quick to listen and slow to speak. Stop playing pussy games. Cook a meal every now and then. Rock the mic once or twice a week. Buy your man something. Fellas, you are not off the hook either. If you see signs that your chick is a selfish bitch then you need to head for the hills. Or at least talk to her instead of shutting down and not saying a word. Both of you need to be clear about what you want instead of jumping head first into a situation or allowing her to do whatever she wants to do then try to pull rank. Chile boo! Leave the games to the kiddies and grow the hell up.

Get It GIRL! Spotlight of the Month: Dema Shamel

I am all for promoting and supporting individuals who are trying to make a way out of no way. Whether it is turning their side hustles into a full time career or stepping out on faith and giving their boss the middle finger. So when a friend told me she was releasing a book, I quickly told her I would showcase it on here. When I first got the book, I took one look at the title and said to myself, "Whoa, folks are going to lose their minds over this and think that it is a gold digging manual." However, the age old quote "Never judge a book by it's cover," kicked in and I cracked open a woman's guide to common sense. Common sense that you should buy new panties, eat healthy, exercise, upgrade your hangout spots, educating yourself, etc but as you all know all sense ain't common. So, without further ado, I introduce Ms. Dema Shamel the author of Women! Get the Material Things You Really Want From Men....



1. What inspired you to write this book?

Female relatives and friends noticed that I had success with getting what I want from men and they would ask me for advice and with my advice came results, so naturally they insisted that I write a book about it.

2. What was the research process like and how long did it take?

The research was information that I had already knew the process was more challenging because I had to develop an outline and really focus on a step by step formula generally. It took 6 months to write and a year and a half to complete cover, editing, etc.

3. What are some of the misconceptions of your book, if any?

The title is the main misconception and I wanted to do that on purpose to receive a reaction but the book is actually inspiring and uplifting not just another gold digger's manual.

4. It seems like everyone is writing a relationship/dating book. What sets your book apart from the rest?

My book is more for the woman who is fed up with seeking love and relationships. Other books are about seeking relationships or trying to understand them my book is for the woman who wants to set her own rules to play by.

5. How do you respond to critics that say this book is demoralizing and teaches women how to be a gold digger?

I tell them to shut up and read it then we can talk.

6. In Chapter 4-Learn the Man and What You Are Dealing With! A lot of women will do research for a paper or do research for a job but will not do research on the men in their lives....Please explain the importance of taking the time to learn the man.

From my experience I've noticed that a lot of men recycle a lot of the same personality traits it is important to study this so you can know how to approach them and to gather a sense of how they may react or respond.

7. How has the book helped you?

It has helped me figure out and acquire what I really want from men without all the emotional drama and I am a lot more focused on my goals and aspirations.

8. Where can people purchased the book?

My book is available at all online book retailers such Barnes & Nobles, Amazon, etc. Also it can be purchased at my website www.getwhatyouwantnow.net and anyone in the Largo area can pick it up at Borders at the Capitol Blvd.

9. What does the future hold for Ms. Dema Shamel?

With more book sales the future will be more magazine and radio interviews, seminars, a documentary, a few more books, and venturing out in more endeavors.....success.

10. Any last words?

Read this book and keep it with you for reference! Thanks Charvass for the interview we need more sistas like you to support us. Muah!

Thank you Dema for the shout out. Please support this wonderful lady. To keep up with Dema, visit her site www.getwhatyouwantnow.net.

Diva's Night Out

The Red Affair isn’t a blog where we just strictly post our thoughts and ideas. My blog partner and I want to be very interactive and hands on in the community. Even though my partner in blogging couldn’t make it, I held us down (Shout to Ms. Michelle). Diva’s Night Out organized by Cynthia Dominick of Cyndom Events and hosted by Jeannie Jones of WKYS was an enjoyable experience. It was a great place to network and promote your business. Seeing all the different vendors and women interacting with each other was very empowering. It’s a sight to see when women of all ages and backgrounds doing are something positive. Vendors such as Amor Mona, Cynirje, Fragrances and More, etc. were in full effect. Giving free make overs, samples, participating in raffles and the most important element...Making Money!!

There wasn’t any real drama except for someone’s drunk aunt acting a damn fool at the bar but other than that it was a pretty friendly atomsphere. The only disappointment was the fact that the strippers didn’t get naked....BBBBOOOOOO!!!!! All in all it was a good night. Special thanks to my homie, Donna for helping me out that night and Cynthia for allowing my to take pictures of the event. I really appreciate it. If you missed Diva’s Night Out in Oxon Hill, MD, don’t fret, Cyndom Events is holding another Diva’s Night Out in Baltimore, MD. Go to cyndomevents.com for more details. Also, if you need any information on some of the vendors that were presented, please contact me at theredaffair69@yahoo.com.